Cruel

Joy Division-"Atmosphere"

Since I heard DJ at his first voice lesson on Saturday, I've been in a contemplative mood musically.

Lately there have several major things I was asked to hold in confidence.That is fine, but since I'm a fairly social animal I have a tendency to then hold everything back. Its learning to find my balance again

First in my family another member recently tested positive for Huntington's Disease. I was honestly hoping to take one for the team by getting HD, but it wasn't going to happen. 

Depeche Mode - "So Cruel" 

Its interesting, this last piece of music. I'm not a big fan of this tune, but I was looking for a song to put here, and my brain kept telling me it would be the perfect place for So Cruel. That is what music is supposed to do, influence how you think.


While I'm on the subject of Depeche Mode, the day I wrote my last blog post I realized my information was a bit off. They were still here until that afternoon working on the new album, I literally missed them by half an hour in fact, being as I was downtown on other business. The same block as the studio. Rumour is that they will be coming here to work so we'll have to see if its going to be another Santa Barbara Sound Design LP like Playing the Angel and the (Bare) rerecordings were. Personally, I love the vibe that studio seems to send the band home with. 

 Destruction Rock at it's best. The first half of today's double feature:

The Police-"Synchronicity II"

On another note, there was some information Dahy's mother did not want to know about her son's final days. Jane and I have no problem with this. We understand and respect their relationship. There's another person who felt differently and took it upon themselves to inform her in a way in which she would not have a choice but to learn. This person felt that they knew better what his Mum would want to know. Needless to say discovering that she was informed of this and then having to field questions to settle her mind was not a pleasant experience. She had wanted to go at this time not knowing, who are you to question whether her decision was the correct one to have made?

The Police - "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"

She is a lot like her son that way. Unlike me, who feels I need every piece of information to make a well informed decision the Kelly's seem to have a strong belief that they don't want or need unnecessary information. 

Pink Floyd - "Another Brick In The Wall"

Last November after Dahy's test results had come back with a very high viral load and dropping CD4 count. That meant he was becoming resistant to his meds and at best it was time for him to try something new. At worst, it was time for him to get his affairs in order.

We went down to Los Angles to see his doctor. Dahy sat down, listened to a quick briefing and then asked three questions. We left five minutes later, he went and filled a prescription for two tablets, swallowed them and proceeded to (try to) work for the remainder of the day. At 4:00 in the afternoon we drove back to the doctor's office and he let the appointment secretary know that the medication made him too sick for a less than 25 percent chance of working. 

Simple Minds - "Belfast Child (live)"

How the hell does someone make a decision like that? I never could. It is not enough to make an informed decision to discontinue medical treatment. For my friend, anything past that small amount of information would only cloud his process over a life and death decision.

If I can't respect that in my best friends and family, then what does that say about me?

Frankie Goes to Hollywood-"Born to Run"

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