Blasphemous Rumors

Depression 7

Anxiety 3

Johnny Cash-"God's Gonna Cut You Down"

Most of yesterday is a blur. A migraine set in and the pain was controlling me. I was constantly drinking coffee, which is why at 6 am I am still awake. 

Depeche Mode - "Blasphemous Rumors"

When I don't feel good there is something soothing in David Gahan's voice. Maybe it is just that it reminds my body of times when life was so much easier, I don't know, All I know is my body and mind react to it. This is by far my favourite song of Depeche Mode. How true I find the lyrics. Come on, God would have to be twisted to allow so many people get sick with diseases like Huntington's which kills by destroying one's sense of self.

I think that God has a sick sense of humour

And when I die I expect to find him laughing.

Yes I know its not the most popular view, but it is mine.

Hiem and Phil Oakey-"2AM"

I can't stop playing this great song. I blogged it last time, but here it is again. You can purchase the awesome 12" CD here. If you read this blog you probably know I don't generally listen to much current music but this song has been on repeat whenever my head let me listen to music.

Bryan Ferry-"Taxi"

Something about Bryan Ferry's voice is so calming when I'm having a day where my nerves are everywhere. I feel that type of day coming on. I'm so stressed and feel out of control. The coffee and HD are not always good partners. They play off each other if I drink too much, and I had over 8 coffee mugs full yesterday. 

Blondie-"Heart of Glass"

If you are looking for a great stereo recording, this isn't it. Its mono and limited in range. This actually gives this version a feel of vinyl which is how this song was recorded to sound. I love Debra Harry, she also has a lift-the-spirits vibe to her. 

Depression 5

Anxiety 3

Well, the sun is rising, its a brand new day. I'm going to go into with a positive attitude. Its important for me to do that when possible. Its one of the few things I have control  over. Music is so very important to maintaining this attitude. 

Juice Newton-"Angel in The Morning"

G'Morning from Sunny California

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option. The comments section is fine too.

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IT

Norman Greenbaum="Spirit in The Sky"

Well, last night I posted my blog entry and went out for a smoke before heading off to a very early bedtime. I was questioning a certain paragraph and whether I should have included it during that walk. Figuring I was blowing it out of proportion never entered this OCD mind. So although no one pointed it out to me its still haunting me through today for more than the bad  two and a half of sentences it really is. I scanned the entry earlier to try and fix the typos in spacing, which by nature won't go away, and "it clutched my mind." It really won't die. Now I know its a stupid OCD thought at this point and so it won't be erased. 

J. Giles Band-"Freeze Frame"

Unlike Linda Ronstadt and Glen Campbell I knew these men were American. This was a big breakthrough for me, musically. I was aware that my taste in music was becoming more expansive than I had first realized. Interestingly  left and right new music was surrounding me in England. It was a wonderful time to be a preteen. 

Juice Newton-"Angel of The Morning"

I had a full day today after a strong night of sleep followed by a nightmare. After waking I had a couple cups of coffee and then made lunch, showered and got dressed. After dinner I went out to my book club. It was a nice Friday. While there tonight I had half can of Dr. Pepper. That was the dumbest think I could have done. With my swallowing issues, caffeinated soda is not what I should be drinking. I know that so why did I do it? The action felt like those of a small child. If Mummy and Daddy say I shouldn't do something then I want to do it. If I know I shouldn't be drinking that can then I want it twice as badly. 

David Naughton-"I'm a Pepper"

I think I'm also tired of being told what I can or can't do. I can't eat certain foods, I have to be careful when I do eat now so my food doesn't go the wrong way again, I've got the marriage and all that legally entails (including probably losing my income as 'we' will make too much to keep my disability payments), start turning my study into the baby room aaaand okay, end of whine now (but not before I complain that the family cat bit my hand so much last night it looks like The Exorcist).

From Airplane-"Jive Talk"

"Honey" "Yes Dear?" "Will you take me to see Airplane tonight?" "But we saw it last week." "If its finances than I'll go to a matinee" "That isn't the issue dear, I've just seen it so many times".

Yeap for another week Mum dragged  him off to the movie theater. Why? Because of her anxiety Mum rarely wanted to leave the house. If she wanted to enter a crowded cinema well then, let  her go! Still I wasn't allowed to go, they thought this film was too adult oriented for this little boy. I only saw a handful of films with them, the Sean Connery Bond film Never Saw Never Again being one that I easily remember. 

Never Say Never Again Trailer from Mi6 Forum

Just watching that brought back a flood memories of my parents and me. Really great memories of being surrounded around them. I'm going to leave on the thought of holding onto my Dad's hand while Mum grabs my arm softly in hers. A time when I felt carefree in this world, when I was still young and thought everyone aged naturally and I'd have parents for what seemed to be forever. And in a world that I'd never heard of HD.

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option.

Lazy Saturday

After an exhausting week, I was going to take today off from blogging. After the book club last night, I went out with some friends to a restaurant and to celebrate a birthday. After good food, good company and a great cake I came home at a quarter to midnight wound up. I finally fell asleep at four, and slept through until three in the afternoon.

After waking up, taking my handful of "morning" medications and eating breakfast I was finally awake. Well, after all that and five cups of black coffee.

So I come on to check my Facebook and found great news that I simply had to blog about. You have read so many of my posts about Amy Ahearn, the missing woman last seen in Norwalk, California.

There was wonderful news this afternoon. Amy was found last night. She's currently being evaluated by a social worker.

I'd like to take this space to thank the family who on multiple occasions took Amy in, fed her, helped clothe her and even called law enforcement (who never came). I also want to thank LAPD for bringing Amy in. (Now LAPD, don't make me eat my words.)

I'm starting to work on an academic paper I never finished last round in college.  Its a sociological look at riots in the Isla Vista area outside of the local University. I've had my research information for years. Why finish it now? Its a bucket list item.

The riots culminated in multiple burnings of the Bank of America outside the university campus and a student's (Kevin Moran) death at the hands of law enforcement.  There are many parallels between that time and the current Occupy movement here. This includes both movements symbolic target of the BofA.

If, by chance I become as involved in this as I was the time I started my research you are going to be so sorry you ever heard of the " Bank of Amerika"

For those interested, I will soon finish importing my bookmarks into Google's online feature. When I do, they will be accessible to all.

As you listen to Governor Ronald Reagan's words, they probably sound familiar. They are the same arguments used by people in authority against the Occupy movement. Outsiders, troublemakers vs those who "helped law enforcement."

The once liberal Gov. Ronald Reagan.

And as for me, I've finished grocery shopping, stocking up on foods I can eat while on the ground surrounded around research papers.

Now I'm off for a romantic dinner at an Italian-American restaurant. I'll leave you what I was listening to earlier today. Here are two singles from The Human League's newest album, Credo.

"Night People"

"Never Let Me Go"

Oh, if you came here looking for a glimpse of life with Huntington's Disease, guess what? You just stumbled across it.

I hope you have a good evening now.

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option.