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I woke up late this morning, well late for me. It was three o'clock in the afternoon.
Depression - 7
Anxiety-3
I generally need twelve hours of sleep to feel proper the next day. The problem comes in when I fall asleep late for whatever reason. This morning I was simply anxious as the day is long so I had to wait it out. Then my brain went OCD on me over a phone that doesn't like to charge and you can get the message.
The problem is that when I wake up I feel like my life is useless after spending that much time cut off from it.
Sheena Easton-"Telephone"
Both the insomnia and long sleep hours are symptoms of Huntington's. I can't sleep from the HD OCD, and when I do I need extra sleep from all the energy HD has taken during the day.
I generally don't tell people I know about this because they think by waking up late I'm plain lazy. All their words just make me feel worse over something I can't control. Its frustrating and no matter how many times I explain this to them they still tell me to get up early so I can sleep early the next evening. I wish it was as easy as that.
Double Feature time!
Bananarama-"Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)"
I generally don't like covers of classics, but this is
one where the voices match the music.
Its also just a fun video to watch.
Bananarama - "Robert De Niro's Waiting"
As I mentioned last time, this is a favourite
song of mine as it talks about having to
escape from problems in a healthy way:
watching movies on a wall.
So here I am at four in the afternoon drinking coffee to wake myself up. I'm enjoying an unhealthy breakfast of Pepperidge Farm chocolate chip, toffee and almond cookies along with it. The coffee has been increasing my anxiety but I just can't start the day without it. Part of the reason is that I've been waking up with nasty headaches and the caffeine helps with that.
Denis Leary on coffee
*NSFW* for language
Speaking of anxiety, my doctor put me on a new medication, Tranxene or Clorazepate. He has me take it before the anxiety starts, and I can say that by day two I haven't felt a need to take my Xanex PRN.
The Alan Parsons Project-"Eye In The Sky"
This is a really cute homemade video.
Give it a watch.
Now its time to get out those Frankie shirts because I'm feeling much better and want to share with you SIX Frankie songs. A special shout-out goes to lead singer Holly Johnson who showed me that just because some doctor tells you that you may eventually have a horrible disease doesn't mean life should end. He continues to show me through his actions just the opposite.
For those that don't know, he has been HIV+ since 1991 and is still turning out art when he's not tweeting on X-Factor. Thanks Holly, you will never know how much you have, and continue to, inspire me.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood-"Wish You Were Here"
Okay, this is a "turn those speakers up as high as they will go
so the bass almost blows them" song.
Honestly, outside of The Human League's early years Frankie is the only band who I have never heard a bad song from. I really hate having to pick one or even two songs of theirs. They are the one band I haven't seen live that I wish I had.
Now before you turn down the speakers, here's a very rare song by them. It is not on Welcome to The Pleasuredome but was a B-Side.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood-"Bang a Gong (Get It On)"
What, you haven't been to California? Well I'll tell you what. Let's take a quick virtual tour.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood-"San Jose"
The other interesting thing about Frankie is that no matter my age I can associate with their songs. They always have personal meaning to me. This is true of their cover versions as well as original works. Another example of this is their cover of Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run. As much as I love The Boss's version of the song, I don't feel like he is singing to me. He's singing about American youth. When Holly sings it, I have a flood of memories of my early adulthood up to today.
I don't know how they do that, I just know that they did. If you only watch one video today, make it the next one. To quote a friend of mine, "Holy Mother of Fuck." It doesn't get better than this.
ETA: Apparently I'm not the only one to think this way. After reading my tweet on this video, @TheHollyJohnson replied to me "@PaulWorre oh yeah we killed it that night x"
ETA: Apparently I'm not the only one to think this way. After reading my tweet on this video, @TheHollyJohnson replied to me "@PaulWorre oh yeah we killed it that night x"
Frankie Goes To Hollywood-"Relax" & "Born to Run" Live
I was talking with some friends after watching the entire Frankie Goes To Hollywood Europe A Go Go set, and telling them how I forgot the great antiwar songs the nuclear scare brought us. So before I leave today I'm going to spin two for you.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood-"Two Tribes (Extended Destructo Mix Video)"
Most people might not remember but it wasn't uncommon for a group to have one normal length video, and another for the extended release song.
Culture Club-"The War Song (Extended Remix Video)
On that note I'm going to have to log it off. My Android decided some time last night to stop charging. I only hope some of the apps I paid for are recoverable off my SD Card. If someone knows how to move the ones in the phone over to the SD Card that can be done through the handheld let me know. I can't get the plug to be recognized unless I push it in deep and hold it.
That being said, my mood is still a strong 8. You can't beat the power of music appreciation when you have Huntington's Disease, can you?
Night!
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As a psychiatric nurse, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you rate your anxiety, depression, and mood on a 1-10 scale. Great post, Paul!
ReplyDeletePaul, I look forward to your posts every day. Thank you for "putting it out there".
ReplyDelete