Pressure

The last few days since I've returned from my honeymoon I've found myself having to nearly pull teeth to get up here to blog. My thoughts and creativity have been nil. So why am I still up here?

The Beatles-"Tell Me Why"

On days when I don't blog, I find myself having more depression and anxiety than days when I take time to share my thoughts with you. On days when I don't,  my feet are more often than not dragging on the ground when I have to go out and run errands.

Today's Double Feature is Sparks

Sparks-"Tips For Teens"

Sparks-"La Dolce Vita"

Its hard to limit myself to two Sparks songs. Should I pick "Tips For Teens" or "When I'm With You" or "Now That I Own The BBC"

Pet Shop Boys-"West End Girls"

Sometimes you're better off dead, 

there's a gun in your hand

and its pointed at your head

You think you're mad, too unstable...

Too many Shadows, whispering voices

Faces on posters, too many choices

If, when, why, what

How much have you got?

In case you haven't noticed I really relate to this song by the Pet Shop Boys. The mood of it is such a low tempo song that when I feel depressed it matches my attitude. It captures my feelings a lot of the time when my Huntington's affects my mood. Often the first sign of my mood turning downward is a penchant for songs like this. When I catch myself humming I'll try and turn my mood around while I have that small window to control it.

Naked Eyes-"Promises, Promises"

My wife is home early. She wanted to listen to the HDView online radio show. Today it features Dr. LaVonne Goodman discussing among other things PGD/IVF. That is the process Jane and I are using to have an HD-Free child. 

Its nice to see her and not being yelled at. We have had the worst fights since she started the hormones. You combine those with my HD and the stress we are both feeling to "do it and do it right the first time" about her possible pregnancy and sometimes it feels like a bomb went off in our house.

Billy Joel-"Pressure"

During this period we haven't seen much of each other. Jane has been working late and whenever possible I've been going out for the evenings.  Neither of us like to fight so avoidance has been our coping strategy. That has made our time together today all that more precious.

On that note, I'm going to head off and rub her shoulders. Its been a long week for both of us.

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option. The comments section is fine too.