HD Family

I'm off the Lyrica. That was making me so sick yesterday. I couldn't read or do much of anything. Today I feel a little edgy but that is to be expected. Originally the doctor was going to put me on another mood stabilizer but he called me late last night and asked me if I'd taken it yet. When I told him I was waiting until this morning he asked me to hold off on taking it for a while and we're going to see how I'm doing without it. I've expressed to him my frustration on being on so many drugs and he understands where I come from on that issue. So for now that drug is out of the picture as well. I wish all of them were out of the picture but I understand his concerns. What I want isn't always what's best for me, and I know that. I don't have to happy about it, but that is reality. So for the day I'm not going to be taking any stabilizer and we'll see if I start getting really jumpy. I feel a lot more "with it" than I did a week ago. 

Giorgio Moroder's Oscar Winning Soundtrack "Midnight Express"

I was looking at my Facebook this morning and a post by HappyPlace.com caught my eye. Seeing is believing and I laughed so hard I almost bust my gut. 

This has been an extremely exhausting month for me. Not only did I have the holidays but I started off in the hospital. When I came home I read that a fellow blogger had chosen to be tested for the Huntington's Gene. So was waiting for her results. Another fellow Facebooker was also waiting for her tests. I was waiting with anticipation for their results as much as I had waited for mine. Its as I once told a friend of mine on Facebook, when you are dealing with HD you already know so much about a person. I know you are going to have bad days,  and those bad days are going to suck threefold because its combined with the built in depression that comes with HD. So your bad days will seem twice as bad as they really are. I know that you came from a family of some dysfunction. When you have a disease that has been perceived as a mental illness society told us to hide it away. This naturally causes a dysfunction of the family unit. So I know that you are used to hiding things, just as I was. I also know that you come from a family where you have experienced death. Its not the unknown factor when you have lost a parent to HD. You've learned already how to grieve. I know all of this about you before our computer keyboards met.

Giorgio Moroder & Philip Oakey - "Electric Dreams"

Both of my friends are free of this nasty genetic illness. That's what I call it, and my brother always tries to correct me when I use it in his presence. He always tells me "I'm not truly free."  but he is. He is free to have as many kids as he wants and to save his life insurance for old age. He is free to go and do whatever he feels like as long as its reasonable.  I don't have these options. Never did, and never would.

Am I jealous of my brother and HD-negative friends? Of course, if I said I wasn't I'd be lying through my teeth. At the end of the day I count my blessings and I get ready for the next morning before I go to sleep. That's all I can do.  I've never lived in his shoes so I don't know what its like, just as he's never been in mine.

This is my only escape from it all

Watching a film or a face on a wall

Robert DeNiro's Waiting...Talking Italian

Bananarama

Off I go tonight on my totally artificial mood cloud.  Sometimes I wonder what emotions would exist if I stopped all medications. I'd probably be depressed but what else? I do know I get very agitated at times, in fact that's always the one thing that I recognize and will bring me in for mental help. That's what brought me in when I was drinking and what I felt when in the hospital when I finally decided I might trust the shrink. So I'd be an agitated depressed guy. There are enough of those around, I think I'll trust the medication for now.

Tina Turner-"Better Be Good to Me"

G'night all, and sleep well.

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option.

Bond, James Bond

Good to see you today. I took a break yesterday. Its important for me to keep everything in perspective, and if I'm tired and really don't want to blog, then I give myself the day off and have a good lazy Sunday.

Also, the dinner Saturday went really well. Good food and good company. We both needed it. Sometimes its just important to get away from everything. This weekend was a wonderful quiet two days away from all the stresses in both of our lives. I say two because I convinced her to take a four day weekend.

Tommy James and The Shondells-"I Think We're Alone Now"

It turns out that J is having a terrible time at work. The person who is between her and her boss is being a complete ass.

I knew things were bad, but I didn't know how bad.

She's in middle management, and with her employer for longer than I've known her. This is making the whole thing that more stressful. She's been there for years, and the benefit package is hard to beat.

The Carpenters-"Rainy Days and Mondays"

This is one of those Mondays where I had to drag myself out of bed. It took five cups of coffee just to keep me from yawning.

Our double feature today-The brilliant all women's group, The Bangles

Maniac Monday

This song brings back many good memories. When I was working, I would actually put this song on my turntable to wake me up as I'd be getting dressed and downing my breakfast. 

Oh Whey Oh

"Walk Like an Egyptian"

On to new and better things. Yesterday, after a hiatus away, I logged into the James Bond forum where I post. Imagine my wonderful shock to discover that they are now filming "Skyfall", the next film in the decades old series. 

One of the best Opening Title sequences. The visuals went so well with the song.

Paul McCartney & Wings-"Live and Let Die"

I feel like a little boy on Christmas Morning. I love James Bond films that much. I seen them all multiple times, including the dreaded Bronson era (GoldenEye was the only good film, no fault of Pierce.)

Tina Turner sings Bono's "GoldenEye"

I'm just getting shivers of excitement just watching this opening sequence. Now that I'm  home from the bank and store I'm watching the film again. Its a nice reward for all those chores.

While its on I'm cooking a surprise meal for J. I called her best friend who just happened to "find" a free movie coupon after I called her on the sly. While J's gone, I'm making a nice dinner for her to come home to. 

Its important to me that she knows I heard how hard work is and that I feel its time for me step up to the plate to make her life easier during all of this.

U2-"With or Without You"

I got a call from @Meekdev tonight. She let me know her mother, Penny, had an outstanding credit at the comic store. Penny was an avid Archie fan,  in fact it was directly because of her I discovered the "Gen X/Yuppie" adult oriented Archie comic title "Archie Got Married." Discovered and addicted to this title, I might add.

Anyway, Meeks called me today and told me to begin expecting Archie Got Married  in my mailbox for the next year. She said that's what her Mum would have wanted. Meekodev, by the way, is also an avid comic reader. She is a Marvel fan.

The reason I am naming Meeko by name is that I want to publicly thank her (I told her *make that threatened* I would).

I've always thought of  Penny when I read an Archie Gets Married. Now I have an additional reason to do so. Thanks my friend Meek for being in my life. We need more of you in this world.

This one is going out to you, my friend. I hope you find the Archie of your dreams instead of your Jughead ;-)

I owe you a ticket to Skyfall. Until then, I'll take that virgin martini shaken not stirred.

The Archies-"Sugar, Sugar"

G'nite folks!

Paul

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option.