Thursday, 5 April 2012

Double Trouble

I can't believe I'm home already. Its been two days here,. and all is well. Actually it isn't. Yesterday I went to the mail box only to discover the Feds decided they didn't like my deferment on my student loans so they're deducting it from my disability check starting-this month! As if that wasn't bad enough, I get to the pharmacy and when I didn't pick up my meds last month, they shelved them. Then they forgot to put my refill back in the computer. That means I don't have my Haldol until I get in to see my doctor next week. Not good. This med controls my aggravation level, helps with my Lyrica to control my moods swings, and by its natural sedative effect controls my shaking with my Klonopin.

Roman Sidorov-"Sedative"

Dahy's twins are currently staying with us. They are rambunctious and filled with energy constantly, just like their father. They're wonderful children and its nice to have them around when they aren't in school. It also makes it harder for me to drink because one of my steadfast rules has always been that I don't drink around children. Even in my worst when I was climbing up freeways hoping a car would run over me, even then I wouldn't drink around my sister or any other children. I can't count the times I dropped my little sister off at the neighbours just so I could get loaded. Its a lot like the way Dahy would drop off the twins at my home when they were babies, now that I think about it.

The Cars-"Drive"

Right now I'm having a real Huntington's Disease moment. As I was proofreading the last paragraph I noticed that very single time I'd use a pronoun relating to myself, I had just left it out. Oops. That really needs to fixed dontcha  think. 

On a more cheerful note, because I really don't feel that down in the dumps even if it seems like it, Depeche Mode is back in the studio. Yeah! Now if we can just drag Human League back there as well I would be really happy. 

The band had nearly fallen  apart from problems on the Devotional tour (including Martin Gore's alcoholic seizures, Andy Fletcher's near nervous breakdown which forced him to leave the tour and David Gahan's heroin, cocaine and alcohol addiction) and this was their one chance to prove they could come back together.When MTV offered to feature them on The Singles Tour they knew they would have to prove they were still around. In the middle of this performance you can see on their faces that the music and audience began to click. It is one of those great times in musical history. 

If you ever want to do a PSA on drugs, it should star this band. This was Depeche Mode's due or die moment.

Depeche Mode-"Enjoy The Music @Cologne (live)"

That song starting me thinking of other do or die moments. Here's another. It was what finally brought U2 fame and fortune. Live Aid: 

U2-"Bad (live"
Live Aid

While this is playing I'll fill you in a bit on everything else that's been going on in my life. The Twins are getting comfortable here. We had a hard afternoon yesterday. The Twins had noticed my shaking that the Haldol usually smooths out. They wanted to know what was wrong. I explained it in very basic terms leaving myself open to questions. DJ hit me right off with "Are you going to  die from this?" I think he asked this because  his father died from being sick. I told DJ it would be a long  time from now. Then he hit the ground in a temper tantrum while yelling that this is what his father had said. I didn't know 7 year old's even had temper tantrums but this one sure did. I got on the floor and rolled over to him, putting my head, face up, under his. He had to stop throwing the tantrum because he didn't want to hurt me. Then I simply asked him if I looked like his father, he had to admit I didn't. Then I tickled him until he smiled. That seemed to resolve the issue for now.

I do want to take a minute to thank everyone on my Facebook who took the time to answer my question about talking to the kids about HD yesterday. The information I got was extremely helpful when talking to them. 

Here is a great single from Credo, The Human League's latest album. 

The Human League-"Never Let Me Go"

Just a minute ago I went looking for my Facebook/Twitter code on some older posts. Among them I found the two pages I had written the first night I was sitting at Dahy's bedside over at the medical center. I published that post, and an hour later pulled both pages of it off.  Its so sad and filled with my emotion that I'm still a bit shaken from reading it. Someday I'll publish it.

Here is one of his favourite songs.

Muddy Waters="Baby, Please Don't Go"  

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option. The comments section is fine too.

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