Letting Go

I'm sitting here with my cat next to me sleeping. She's sixteen years old, with arthritis and early dementia. She has let me know she's getting ready to go.

Real Life-"Send Me An Angel"

She spent all of today on the heating pad and could barely lift her head. Tonight she got up to eat some wet food, groomed herself and used her box. Then she fell back asleep. Her eyes have lost their sparkle. 

Howard Jones-"No One Is To Blame"

I've had my baby almost my entire life in the States. I got her my first year here and she has seen more changes in me than anybody. She's survived three apartments before my house, as well as two girlfriends before my wife. 

She saw me long before I started showing symptoms of Huntington's, and when I was a lot less stable in my personal life. She saw me stop drinking and finish my education. 

A twist on the Double Feature:

Today I'll be playing the same song by
both songwriters.

First up Terry Hall with Fun Boy Three

with the 1982 hit song in the UK where it went to number 7

Fun Boy Three-"Our Lips Are Sealed"

While they were in the studio, co-songwriter Jane Wiedlan and company

were having a hit over the pond in the US. 

All the way to number 15 it was:

The Go Gos-"Our Lips Are Sealed"

This is one song that always takes me back to a softer, easier time. When I was a young boy and had a carefree life, no real responsibilities and both of my parents were there to support me. A time when I hadn't heard of Huntington's Disease and life seemed like it would go on forever.

Falco-"Rock Me Amadeus (Symphonic)

Does this man have a stage presence or what?

I never knew before tonight. 

The mix of electronics and the orchestra is amazing.

This is another song I associate with carefree times. I went to the club and this was always playing, It was crazy to be dancing to the American version of a song in German by an Austrian but we sure rocked the house along with Falco and Amadeus. 

Eurythmics-"Love Is a Stranger"

I think a large part of my early grieving is that when my cat goes I will have lost the last tie to the period in my life when I was quite a bit irresponsible, when the world was at my feet. By letting go of her, I'm letting go of that part of my life to an extent.

Pet Shop Boys-"Opportunities(Let's Make A Lot of Money)"

There is video footage of them performing this song live. It is only the second live performance I'm aware of in which the keyboardist uses the Fairlight CMI. That was a very expensive piece so most bands did not tour with it. The only other place I'm aware of that I've seen it live was The Cars' performance at Live Aid.

This last song really encapsulates how I'm feeling these last few days. I'll leave you with Depeche Mode.

The Rumour

This is a mini-movie made to Depeche Mode's Blasphemous  Rumours

"I don't want to start any blasphemous Rumours

But I think God has a sick sense of humour

And when I die I expect to find him laughing"

. 

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option. The comments section is fine too.

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Catching Up

I had a nice, quiet but enjoyable New Year's last night. I had been invited to a friends birthday party but decided to stay at home with Jane. I'm glad, it was a nice enjoyable evening.


Today's music is curtosy of 80sMusicGirl. She played these 80s songs last night.

Swing Out Sister-"Breakout"

I'm starting to settle down to the married life. I must say I enjoy it. Although I didn't think it would change me, I was wrong. Suddenly I feel safer. Our relationship is so much more stable. Its almost as if we are able to read each others mind more so than before if that makes sense.

ABC-"Be Near Me"

This morning I woke up too early so I only got four hours sleep. I don't feel tired though so I'm making breakfast while I type. I'm back on a diet to gain weight. I'm not as thin as I was a year ago but I need to gain extra weight so when I get chorea later I'll have the calories to burn. 

Go West-"King of Wishful Thinking"

One thing I've been flirtiing with is my ability to become a citizen in three years. If my Huntington's Disease doesn't make it so I don't have the brain power to take the citizenship test, I likely will prepare myself so I can vote at that time.

People ask me why I want to become a citizen as I will have to give up my right to vote in England. I'm simply here for so long that I see some policies I don't like. It would be nice to have a very small influence on them. 

Prince-"Let's Go Crazy"

When this song came out my little sister teased me that this is my theme song. This one is for her. She's thinking about having the test for Huntington's Disease. Since our mother had it, all her children have a one in two chance to carry the gene. If she tests positive for having the gene she will eventually get HD. I've told her I'll fly out and support her when she goes in to hear the result. I remember when I went in to have my results announced I was thankful Jane was there, even if I already knew I had HD. I had the test so I'd know my CAG repeat count. As I've mentioned it is the area of JHD. I was thankful that she was standing there while I was on the phone. I don't know how I'd have managed that otherwise.

The Go-Gos-"Vacation"

I'm reading a lot more since I got my Kindle. Something about it makes it easier for me to comprehend what I'm reading. I'm not sure if its the font or spacing or something I'm completely unaware of, but its nice to have the old habit back. The book I'm currently reading is Blown For Good-Behind The Iron Curtain of Scientology by Marc Headley. I've wanted to read this since my reading first went down the tube. At 50% completed I must say it was worth the wait. Headly takes you inside the Int Base, the intitution where not only are the "Church's" movies are made but also the home of leader David Miscavige.I highly recommend this book.

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - "If You Leave"

My wife and I have one week to go until she will be ready for her doctor to remove her eggs for fertilization. We are like little children waiting for Christmas to open our gifts.The IVF drugs are making her moody, but not half as bad as expected. 

Simple Minds-Don't You Forget About Me"

Well, I'm caught up. Thank you for reading. I hope the rest of your day treats you well.

Catch Paul Ware on Facebook or Twitter. I can also be reached via email (delete no spam) but much prefer the Facebook message option. The comments section is fine too.