Monday, 26 September 2011

....and even more anxiety.

Please forgive. I started this last night, and didn't have a chance to hit send. I'll do that before going to the DMV.

Well, I stumbled upon a great group of people today. I had no idea how large the internet HD community was. I had been searching high and low for several months only to find  it was right in front of me.

Still battling this depression. Time to up my anti-depressant tonight and pick up the mood stabilizer at the pharmacy tomorrow. My back is also giving me pain, spasms on the right side of my middle vertebrae nudging them out of whack. I finally took a pain reliever and lay straight down on the floor with a comic book for 50 minutes. Let's be honest here, pain rarely lifts one's emotions up. So I'm giving myself a little slack today for still having a mood in the crapper.

By blogging time, I still haven't gotten near the shower. So in I jump, turn on the transistor radio, (yes I still own and use a transistor radio in this day and age) only to discover that someone has nudged the dial. Suddenly I'm doing the blues. I say doing because, to my ears, you can't passively listen to the blues. They are to be felt. One can passively listen to rock, classical or even trance music, not so the blues.

After the shower, I fell right asleep. Then at 5:30 in the morning I woke up with an anxiety attack. My nice calm sleep had turned on me. I tried to pinpoint where this has happened, was there a nightmare I wasn't aware of? 

The only thing I could imagine is that a relative of mine is coming to California from Arizona,and wanted to know if I would be willing to spend a couple days down in Long Beach catching up. Normally I enjoy a trip like this, and will take advantage of leaving town on a train so I don't have the responsibility of having to store a second vehicle at my destination. Lately though, I just don't like to give up any little bit of independence and I wonder if that is what I was reacting to. If it comes to it, I'll just rent a car once I arrive in Long Beach.

For those of you who don't know, Arlo lost his father Woody Guthrie to HD. His mother founded The Committee to Combat Huntington's Disease (now the Huntington Disease Society of America). 

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