Saturday, 24 September 2011

Struggling with depression today

I have been struggling with my depression all day today. It's just one of those times when nothing seems to be able to lift my mood up. I woke up with less than eight hours of sleep. That was most likely a contributing factor. 

After running some errands, I went over to a friend's house for a pizza party of sorts. We spent the time on the floor relaxing, listening to upbeat tunes and just trying to keep each other's company. My friend Meeks has been hit a double whammy this last month. First she lost her mother rather quickly at the young age of 65 and then she discovered her mother had tested positive for HD in her last days, putting Meeks at 50% risk of getting the disorder herself. Her mother was the first family member to suffer from HD so it was a real Double Shock. I've really tried to lift her mood up as well, and if we didn't accomplish this 100% we still did a pretty good job at telling the Depression beast where he could hide for a couple hours. 

We sat and listened to some of the late producer Martin Rushent's best work,  Human League's Dare album as well as a few other singles he produced. It did us both good to just hang out away from peer pressure to get over our bad moods. Instead, we each had a set of listening ears and that alone helped lift the cloud, even if just for a little while.

You may remember in an earlier blog posting I mentioned my one very serious girlfriend had thrown dishes at me when I refused to get tested for the HD gene. If you watch the above video a little over half-way through you will see the blonde Susan Anne Sulley chasing someone down a hallway, throwing items all the way. Let me just say that scene hit a little close to home for me. To give my ex-gf some credit, testing for HD is much more common back home in England than it is here in the United States. In fact, unlike America you can outright be denied insurance if you aren't tested. Since there is no cure, and the medications are only for the effects of HD itself, this argument just does not hold water to me. If there were drugs that prolong life as there is now for person's with HIV+/AIDS they might have an argument for testing, but if still not treatable its more like a Big Brother watching your genes, at least for me.

Yeah, I know 9 minutes of music without graphics, but if you have seen Soft Cell's other videos be grateful. You wouldn't be able to watch them in a house with small children that might awaken. As much as I like Soft Cell they are not the cleanest of bands. On the other hand, this really cannot be heard on anything besides the extended mix. 

Instead of the planned Sparks video, I'm choosing As She Was by the Talking Heads. When depressed this always fits my feelings without dragging me lower. I'll save Sparks for another time.

Feel free to reach me @Twitter. I'm PaulWorre

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