|City Hall, Main Street, Disneyland|
© Paul Ware 2011
Now before we go any further I want to let you know I'll get some photos we took, up later in the week.
Jane started the hormone shots for the PGD-IVF four nights ago so in ten to thirteen days if all goes well they will transfer two embryos. I can't believe how quick this process is. Then we'll have to wait two weeks to see if either of them attached to her uterine wall. I have already crossed my fingers. I never thought I'd say this but both of us really want this baby. In fact, I've already bought a couple toys for the nursery!
I have terrible anxiety again today. Its so bad I can't get off the bed to use the bathroom. I took my PRN and it hasn't touched it so I just took a second dose. Its time to remove caffeine from my diet which sucks as I love my morning coffee.
Human League-"One Man In My Heart"
After doing some research and communication with other people who have HD I have decided I will not be getting the feeding tube. The risk of aspiration is not reduced and in some cases can even go up. I don't know what my doctors were thinking when it was recommended I get it to avoid aspiration pneumonia when science says the opposite.
This was been something I had major concerns about. Once I had the tube placed my end of life decisions would have been limited. Now I can continue on without having my whole life and personal values turned upside down. No more fears of being kept alive when the only thing between me and the natural progression of life and death is a plastic tube.
Our triple feature tonight is The Animals
The Animals-:"Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"
The Animals-"House of The Rising Sun"
Doesn't the man introducing this look like Willy Wonka?
The Animals-"When I Was Young"
So Jane and I broke open the Cuisinart. Its time for my food to be cut into smaller pieces that I can control and prevent from going down the wrong way. I also thicken my liquid. Its even in my Hawaiian Punch on my bedside table.
All I care about is that I don't die from breathing in food. I want to be a father to my child.
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