Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Not sleeping...

Its 10:30 p.m., at what time I normally begin to relax for the night...this evening my brain is starting to wind up. I feel it whirring like a hamster wheel. Shut the F*ck up!

NSFW (language) 
Cobra Starship-"Snakes on the Plane (Bring It)"

I feel like that Enimem video with Rihanna and Megan Fox circling the burning house. I have that much burning confusion going on inside myself right now. I can literally feel it. The last two weeks have been filled with anything but calming thoughts and when I want to come back to normal, I feel that normal has moved since I last knew where it stood. Now all that's there is a charred circle to remind me where it once was. Does that make any sense?
Eminem - "Love The Way You Lie" ft. Rihanna

Just took my handful (now working towards filing up two hands) of night meds. I should take a picture sometime. J still doesn't believe it when I take them in one swallow. The nurse in the hospital didn't believe me either and I had to prove it to her. Maybe its some strange gift I was born with.
Another "oh-Shit Wish I was there" performance
Kim Carnes with Kenny Rogers - "Don't Fall in Love With a Dreamer"

This second half of our Kenny Rodger's Double Feature and beginning of Sheena Easton's double feature is what us men used to politely call make-out music. You put this on the turntable and she was as good as yours for the night.
Kenny Rodgers & Sheena Easton - "We've Got Tonight"

Here she is opening up the James Bond Film For Your Eyes Only
Sheena Easton-"For Your Eyes Only"

This song captures how I feel most nights when I start to fall asleep.
Laura Branigan -"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"

One of my favorite Synth Pop groups of the early 80's wrote this: AlphaVille.
When I clicked on the link I didn't really think it would be this good. NOW I know why Debbie on Twitter so highly recommends her. Thanks Debbie for widening my horizons. Until recently, I had only known of her work on Moroder Soundtracks and "Gloria"

Also from Una Vez Mas in Chile
Laura Branigan-"Forever Young"

Another make-out Bond theme song...and why is it if you're not in the mood its great music to relax to?
Rita Coolidge-"All Time High"

Speaking of being in the mood..
Robert Plant - "I'm In The Mood"

I thought I felt my Melatonin kick in but then discovered it isn't quite time. Its these relaxing tunes kicking in. Maybe I'll be able to sleep after all.

"Human, born to make mistakes...can you turn down the smoke machine please?"
Human League - "Human" on TOTP
Hotly debated in many circles, this is the only hit not written at least in part
 by Oakey or another band member. Personally,
as much as I like this song it sounds overly produced.
I would love to hear this album (Crash) "naked" as The Beatles-
"Let it Be" was recently released stripped of Specter's Wall of Sound.

Godley & Creme - "Cry"

If I close my eyes now I'm passing out. Which is good as my mind is still turning wheels over these CAG numbers. Last night when I told J. about it, she agreed it might not have been useful for me now but may down the road, and she's right. For example I'm amping up some on my half of the mortgage so she won't be left with any of my half after five years. I'm working with a financial planner to get my creditors paid off as well. I'm so glad I had my advance health (and financial) directive in place when I was in hospital knowing if gosh-forbid I took a turn for the worst I'd have my bases covered. Also as my health agent no one can ban her from seeing me without cause. That's a big relief as marriage is not in my future plans. 

The only thing I can think of, and this is pushing it is that my depression started back when I was 18 and dropped out after my O's which was not expected of me. I was expected to take 4 "A"'s and apply to Oxford but didn't have it in me and left. That's still way too late and too little symptomatically. I feel like EG Marshall in CreepShow when all the cockroaches come out of his body cavities. I feel that I'm on a path of clear destruction inside-out. You'd find it hard to sleep as well.
Barry McGuire-"Eve of Destruction"

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